doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
