I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
