i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have aggressive nipples.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Text me some of your sweat
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