if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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