tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
