ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
