Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
