i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize