ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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