covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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