on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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