Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
