i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
