that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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