what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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