She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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