don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
