gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
