Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
