I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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