I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize