Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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