Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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