If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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