Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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