yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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