do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
