I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
