I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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