That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
