what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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