Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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