Got a toothbrush?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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