Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
