i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i drank out of a bidet.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
