SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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