Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
