Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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