So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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