My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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