My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
