he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
