Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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