I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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