Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
