Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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