That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
