very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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