office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
