Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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