Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she told me i tasted like america
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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