Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
