What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
