You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
