I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
