I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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