that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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