Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
