Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize