i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
