why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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