Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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